1. Do NOT walk in the bike paths. Almost every street has sidewalks with dedicated bike paths. Coincidentally, these paths are usually in the only shaded part of the sidewalk, just under the tree canopy. Bicyclists are not excited about running you over.
2. Do not climb the Notre Dame Cathedral stairs... all 365? of them in 39 degree weather. The resulting water-weight loss does not compensate for the chocolate croissant at breakfast.
3. On the same note, do NOT try to diet in Paris. All efforts are futile.
4. Do NOT get off at the local, labelled, stop for the Eiffel Tower. This is Paris misleading you. Go to Trocadero, and you will see why.
5. Do not wear new sandals. This needs no explanation.
6. Do NOT attempt to interact with the men who hide a balls under one of three cups at the Eiffel Tower. It may appear like there are many people winning... this is a scam and most of those winners are working with the cup mover. They WILL get you.
7. Do NOT ignore the persistent call of <<Attention!>> which sounds a bit more like "A-TAWN-SHAN!!!" Someone is telling you that you are in the way / blocking their access / about to get run over by a bike / about to get run over by a car. Ignore at your peril.
8. Do NOT walk around without sunscreen. Need I say more? Yes.
9. Do NOT attempt to purchase sunscreen on a Sunday. In Paris, no one gets sick or needs medication on Sunday because everyone is at home relaxing. Except me.
10. Do NOT try to speak French in a restaurant in Paris. I will go something like this:
Me: <Je veux un aurtre packet de sucre, et aussi du creme pour mon cafe s'il vous plait.>>
Waiter: <<Oui, madame.>>
(Waiter returns and gives me a glass of wine)
Me: (Sigh) <<Merci>> (Clearly he can read minds)
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